that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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