I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
