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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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