I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
No I am not eating basil off your cock
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
