He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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