Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
