I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize