"it" just moved
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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