STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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