pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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