I am in a vortex of obligation.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
