My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
