There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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