windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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