He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
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