I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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