Me. At least after what I've been through.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
