Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
