yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
