Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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