I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
