overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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