Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
