Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
