I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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