he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
