Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
