Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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