i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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