i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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