I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize