he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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