So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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