i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
