I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
