we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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