dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
