If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
