ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
