:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
and you said cock pushups were impossible
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
