all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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