On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
