I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you win again, gameday.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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