It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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