Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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