why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
