And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
