I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
