I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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