K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
