apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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