sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
