High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize