I'm going to jail i love you
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Someone shit on the floor
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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