So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
