you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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