i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
