the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
