Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
