I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
