Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
