he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
