My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I am naked and annoyed.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize