that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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