While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You don't make any sense
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