We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
