Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
