Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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